my seeds of life are being sown slowly

this blog has taken me a long time to attain the courage to write. the questions that have been posed to me to answer were very thoughtful and made me really analyze my life and think about what is really going on with me. I am really not sure if i have balanced any part of my life i know that i want to become independent and allow myself to live on my own and be my own person, to do this i want to be able to go back to school i want to learn to be a webmaster and allow myself to be my own boss and learn to create websites and things learning html and things of that nature. to be able to balance my life i would love to find a way to get my sanity back and allow myself to get out from under my parents and not use them as crutches i want to do things for myself. My own laundry and dishes and floor washing etc etc. i want to be able to have friends i can go out and have fun with them and go out and create new experiences for myself. i want to travel and see new places ive never seen before. im not sure what else i can do to achieve this balance in my life i am just living day by day and allowing myself to live my life the best i can. in this balance i do find that the moon cycles somewhat effect the way i think and feel sometimes i have days of happiness then i have days of woe and depression and lethargy i dont want to do anything just sit around and mope around and just be in the world not mattering to anyone, i do go out and play with my animals sometimes though i believe that i do have somewhat of a calming effect on some animals but not all i can tell if they are becoming calmer or not, if not i put them down before i get attacked :). my dogs love me, they always know when im upset or bored or happy they come running to me and show me so much love. it will be a sad day when i lose them and they wont be back. when i sleep at night after playing with my pets and working out and such i do tend to dream and there are times i have had precognitive dreams, i have had small things happen in my life that i have thought about or wanted to happen. This always surprises me and allows me to make better decisions in my life to better myself and my existence, showing me that i can live in this world on my own and i am going to some day!.

darkraven hyacinthe